Sunday, February 16, 2014

An Article from Bama Boi Blues

Loving someone who is clinically depressed/bipolar

It takes time.

It takes patience.

It takes a whole lot of love.

Emotions are up and down, mood swings aplenty.

Your partner must truly understand and appreciate you for who you are. It's not easy to love us, but it's not hard either.

For those with partners who suffer from depression, you'll probably see a lot of yourself in your lover. What you often feel by yourself when no one is around, you see that play out in your partner every other day, or once a week, or one long week out of the month; it all depends.

The hardest thing for the person who is depressed is that they don't know how to fully express their emotions to someone they truly love from time to time. No matter how long you two have been together, your partner may feel like he's still in high school, trying to get the attention of his crush. He'll be shy at times, and he'll be awkward at times, but in between those moments, your bond will be solid and effortless.

For those suffering from depression, you may become frustrated with your partner for no reason at all, OR it may be the smallest thing he may have done unknowingly, only for you to take it personally. You're in a constant state of wanting them to "prove" their love to you, while at the same time rejecting it, and you honestly don't know why. It's difficult to be this vulnerable to someone, and it's even more difficult when you feel that way all the time. It's uncomfortable, and the insecurity can eat away at you sometimes.

You also find yourself shutting them out completely because you don't want to be a bother to them or seem like you're being an asshole; however, you still come off as an asshole, so you begin to feel even more like crap. Your fear is that your partner, friends, and family will finally tire of you and leave you alone, and there's nothing worse then being alone and depressed, but for whatever reason you feel like you deserve it.

Just know, you don't deserve it.

It takes a special person to love and understand you, and when you find that person, you must try as hard as you can to talk about your feelings in the most honest way. They may begin to pick up on your feelings, and may even beat you to the punch of asking you in a way that sheds light on your emotions. It'll make you smile to know that they are willing to find ways to defuse any brewing triggers.

For both of you, understand that he loves you, and he's there for you just as you are for him. Affirm your relationship by communicating. Support one another during those down days. Try to uplift, but also give each other space to cope, but not too much space. To love someone who is dealing with depression can oddly be emotionally liberating. If you both give each other permission to just let the emotions flow, you'll discover things about one another that will bring you closer. It takes a lot of love for this to happen.

So, love each other right. 

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