I've been thinking a lot lately about going back to the turning point and choosing another path. This blog is great for this line of thought because it records precisely where the recent big change in my life happened: 2014.
As I've looked back through the record this blog provides, I'm shocked at how much change was crammed in to one year. I went to a Quaker seminary, joined a monthly meeting, became disillusioned with Quakerism, and joined the Episcopal Church. I began the year disappointed by Will, waited for change, and gave up on the possibility of being with him. I met Corban, fell in love, then committed my life to him. I found out my father had a secret family and met them for the first time. I drank wine for the first time in my first Holy Eucharist.
So much happened so fast....
In light of recent events, I'm wondering if I made the right decisions? I think they were the right decisions at the time, but were they? I don't know.
I'm reconsidering Quakerism and Will right now, and I'm not sure if either, both, or neither is the right path forward right now, but I'm willing to consider the possibility.
2 weeks ago, I was confronted with the end of 2 parts of my life which were very dear to me. A relationship which defined my future path, and a potential move that looked like a solution to the challenges I've faced for almost a decade. But now that those paths forward have ended, I get to reassess my situation from where I was 3 years ago.
I'm financially better off and more mentally prepared to do what's needed then I ever was before. And mu expenses are low and soon will be even lower. So I'm going to try to view my present circumstances as God opening a door for me, providing a way in the wilderness.
The Lord is my keeper, the Lord is the shade at my right hand......
So, I won't be afraid to search for the Light which, coming into the world, gives light to every man. Or at least, I won't let fear deter me from the search.
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