Life has been....weird lately. In March, I got the idea that my boyfriend and I should move to New York State because they have free college there now. I make plans to go, and spend the next 8 months preparing to leave, only to find out that I can't go. Oh, and my boyfriend broke up with me. And I'm planning to join a new Parish because of the previous sentence...
Every plan has fallen apart in the last 2 weeks. Everything I thought was going to happen, didn't. I find myself in a weird place, seriously wondering what it is I'm even trying to do in my life.
I, of course, immediately started drafting new plans. I find that making extensive new plans, even if I'm stuck in the same place I was before, is comforting in a way. It makes me feel like I'm making some sort of progress. But at times the illusion is soooo thin.
I guess that in moments like these, I should call on Jesus and ask him for direction, discernment, and help. So I will.
And I'm still in love with Will Schlichter and would literally take him back without hesitation if he wanted me to. Which he doesn't. Isn't that the craziest; waiting for someone who probably is not even considering you? But I guess that's going to be my life for the next 5 years, sitting Shiva, waiting for the resurrection of a damn near impossible relationship.
But you know what? I'll do that. I'm going to work hard, get in shape, try to be a good friend and neighbor, love and serve Jesus and the Episcopal Church, and wait for Will Schlichter to say yes.
Every plan has fallen apart in the last 2 weeks. Everything I thought was going to happen, didn't. I find myself in a weird place, seriously wondering what it is I'm even trying to do in my life.
I, of course, immediately started drafting new plans. I find that making extensive new plans, even if I'm stuck in the same place I was before, is comforting in a way. It makes me feel like I'm making some sort of progress. But at times the illusion is soooo thin.
I guess that in moments like these, I should call on Jesus and ask him for direction, discernment, and help. So I will.
And I'm still in love with Will Schlichter and would literally take him back without hesitation if he wanted me to. Which he doesn't. Isn't that the craziest; waiting for someone who probably is not even considering you? But I guess that's going to be my life for the next 5 years, sitting Shiva, waiting for the resurrection of a damn near impossible relationship.
But you know what? I'll do that. I'm going to work hard, get in shape, try to be a good friend and neighbor, love and serve Jesus and the Episcopal Church, and wait for Will Schlichter to say yes.
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